Kia’s solo trip to China fulfilled a long-held dream but also had a deeper significance
In the week before Christmas, I hosted a family gathering at my house. At some point in the afternoon, my 31-year-old nephew arrived with his baby daughter. To everyone’s shock, he had brought her alone without the supervision of his wife.
My sisters and I were impressed that he had ventured out alone with his child. As we praised and grilled him (“was she okay in the car?”, “does she need to be fed?”, “is she warm enough?”), I realised just how far we still have to go when it comes to gender equality. My 27-year-old niece never gets this type of reception when she brings her baby round on her own.
Patriarchy is still so entrenched in my family. For example, more often than not, the men eat before the women as is Bengali tradition. And when it comes to making tea, it’s always a woman in the kitchen.
Knowing this, I actively try to drip-feed feminism to my 13 nieces who range in age from 31 to three. Much of this is unremarkable to the untrained eye. For example, when I wear jeans to a family gathering, it may seem perfectly ordinary, but if you understand that many Bengali women don’t wear jeans because they’re seen as immodest, suddenly the act takes on a different meaning. Or when I grab a plate to eat at the same time as the men, I’m making a subtle statement that I matter just as much as them.
Other acts are more overt. The fact that I have travelled the world is itself an act of resistance against the conservatism of my family and community. Every time I show my nieces a video of me abroad – maybe jumping out of a plane, hiking to an active volcano or diving a plane wreck – I’m drip-feeding them feminism.
I have to say that I have been able to do these things partly because Peter has been by my side. Travelling with a white man affords me certain privileges that I don’t get on my own. The real feminist act is when I travel alone, which is why, despite my misgivings, I decided to go on a solo trip to China to see out the year.
My solo trip to China
The first difference I notice on my solo trip to China is that, despite the 10-hour flight and 5.30am landing, I don’t fall asleep in the taxi on my way to the hotel. Normally, with Peter by my side, I’d feel safe enough to do so but, alone, I stay alert.
The next thing I notice is that I feel strangely keyed up before meeting the other travellers on my small-group tour. I find that I’m unusually keen to make a good impression. As a solo traveller, I don’t have the safety net of a partner. I can’t coast in social situations or retreat into silence when tired or bored. I have to make an effort to be friendly and engaged. Luckily, my group comprises an interesting mix of characters and we all gel well.
The trip begins in earnest at the Great Wall of China. I catch my first glimpse of the wall as the chairlift soars over the forest floor. The wall is vast and dramatic as it snakes through the morning mist along the crest of surrounding hills. It is both familiar and fantastical; sometimes steep and sweeping, other times gently meandering.
I walk a 5km stretch of the wall, which is surprisingly quiet. I climb one of the watchtowers and reflect on the fact that the Great Wall of China is my final Wonder of the World. I have seen Chichén Itzá, the Colosseum, Petra, Machu Picchu, Christ the Redeemer and the Taj Mahal in previous years. For a girl whose youth was extremely small – school, home and the library – it feels like an extraordinary milestone.
I make a note to send my seven-year-old niece a postcard to follow the one I sent her from Svalbard in the High Arctic. My aim is to encourage her to explore. My travel milestones may be arbitrary – my seventh world wonder, my seventh continent – but they give my nieces a framework for living a life that’s big and brave.
My courage is indeed put to the test in Yangshuo where I’m faced with a three-hour cycle ride along the Li River. As I’ve mentioned before, I only learnt to cycle at the age of 28 and was in a serious crash in 2016. Since then, Peter has kept me safe on roads abroad but now I am alone. I’m nervous about the ride but can’t abide the thought of backing down because a man isn’t here to protect me. I set off with the group, a little wobbly – both literally and metaphorically.
There are a few hairy moments. At one point, I lose the group at a busy junction and unwittingly run a red light in my desperation to catch up. The ride is challenging but ultimately rewarding. The scenery is stunning: towering peaks stud the banks of the Li while Moon Hill with its perfect circle in the middle looks like something out of Labyrinth. I finish the ride unscathed and victorious.
Over the course of the trip, I see some of China’s most iconic sights: the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, the Terracotta Army, Leshan Giant Buddha, the Chengdu Giant Panda research base and the Shanghai skyline. Between these guided outings, I push myself to venture out alone.
On one occasion, I go in search of an Indian restaurant, needing a break from tofu. It’s been a long time since I had to navigate a foreign city alone, but I manage to find a curry house and enjoy a delicious meal of samosa chaat, naan and dahl.
Atlas & Boots
Kia ventured out for a curry
On another solo outing, I go to Xi’an City Wall where I come across a delightful scene: groups of older women have gathered to dance, play and exercise. In the UK, or indeed Bangladesh, I have never seen older women gather in public like this. I think of my mother who spent her life inside and it almost makes me emotional.
These women and their claim to a public space is what I want to show my nieces. I want to teach them to venture outside their comfort zone; to explore, to dream, to go. My solo trip to China was a way to practise what I preach; to prove that I can be bold.
A month after I left for my solo trip to China, one of my nieces left for a solo trip to Australia. She would be meeting a friend in Melbourne but exploring other places alone. Midway through the trip, she texted to ask if I had any recommendations for Sydney.
It made me smile because when I was younger, I didn’t have an aunt to text about even my maths homework let alone a city on the other side of the world. I gave her the obvious trio of the Sydney Opera House, Sydney Harbour and Bondi Beach, but told her to also do the Sydney Bridge Climb.
The next day, she texted me, in all caps: THAT BRIDGE CLIMB WAS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER DONE!
I smiled. Job done. On to the next one.
Solo trip to China: the essentials
What: A 15-day Highlights of China tour with small group specialists G Adventures.
Where: Accommodation on the tour includes basic but comfortable tourist-class accommodation.
When: The best time to visit China is in the spring (Apr-May) and autumn (Sep-Oct), but avoid National Week in the first week of October as there will be crowds everywhere. Evenings can be cold so pack a fleece and jacket.
How: I joined a 15-day Highlights of China tour with G Adventures. Prices start at £1,823 ($2,280 USD) per person and include a CEO (Chief Experience Officer) throughout, all accommodation, transport between destinations, some meals and numerous activities including the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, Great Wall of China, Terracotta Warriors, Leshan Giant Buddha, Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding, Li River boat ride and Shanghai Museum. For more information or to book, call +44(0)207 313 6953 or book online.
We recommend getting a Holafly eSIM for China so you can stay connected to the internet on your trip. We can offer our readers 5% off all Holafly purchases. Simply use the code ATLASANDBOOTS at checkout.
I flew to China with Air China. Book flights via Skyscanner for the best prices – and don’t forget to check visa requirements!
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