Life & Work
Unpacking an insecure boss
Wednesday October 25 2023
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Employees could engage in ‘malicious obedience’ knowing their approach to a task is more effective. PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK
In the vast theatre of the corporate world, among all the busy meetings and office noise, there emerges a distinctive figure — the insecure employer.
These employers are like a worried squirrel hoarding nuts for an endless winter, they are fuelled by fears, uncertainties and the echoing paranoia of not being ‘enough.’
They cannot stop second-guessing themselves and despite the power, their vulnerability screams the loudest, and always looking over their shoulder.
Is it just a personal battle or a symptom of a greater workplace disorder?
Damaris Ndungwa, an organisational development and learning strategist, points out that it’s more common to encounter an insecure boss or leader than an insecure employer.
Read: Micromanaging: Working with an overbearing boss
“At times their insecurity is triggered by expectations and demands of the role that would make them feel incompetent to lead a team due to lack of extra skills,” she adds.
Building on her observations, Ms Ndungwa suggests that HR professionals should be watchful for specific behaviours that hint at an insecure leader.
“You will also see them having some serious outbursts of emotions, and even lecturing staff in the corridors. They are not balanced emotionally and do not love being challenged,” she notes.
Such leaders tend to be overly controlling, wanting tasks to be executed precisely their way. Once they delegate, they often resort to micromanaging. Moreover, Ms Ndungwa observes that these bosses tend to work late hours, and have heavy workloads despite having a team.
“They fear delegating tasks because they do not want the team to meet the needed expectations or fear being failed.”
They also have a strong need for validation. She says, “I once had a boss in business development. He’d always be the first to arrive at meetings. During these sessions, he’d boast about his achievements and then expect us to give him a round of applause. If anyone didn’t clap enthusiastically enough, he would take it to heart.” Ms Ndungwa says the need for recognition is a mechanism to make up for their insecurity.
Additionally, they don’t respond well to being questioned, whether it’s about their methods or their approach to a task. They tend to get defensive and struggle to accept feedback. This stems from their constant need for affirmation.
“They won’t admit to their mistakes and often shift the blame onto their team members. In the same breath, they are quick to claim the successes and accomplishments of their members without giving them due credit.”
Repercussion on employees
Mathangani Muya, a HR Strategist and an executive coach says employees can reduce their output to the bare minimum when dealing with an insecure boss.
In addition, employees could engage in ‘malicious obedience’ knowing their approach to a task is more effective. Yet, because of the boss’s ‘my way or the highway’ attitude, they go along with it and await the outcomes.
“Their self-esteem can be affected and in turn their mental health due to the constant harsh words, micromanaging and overbearing of the employer.”
Mr Muya shares that due to the current unprecedented economic times, such an employee can choose to stick with the said organisation.
“It affects teamwork because often than not, they will work under instructions of the boss rather than together as one,” he elaborates.
What to do?
Mr Muya recommends trying to understand the root of the boss’s insecurities. Pay close attention to their personality traits and what triggers them.
“Is it when you share that impressive presentation and copy the CEO, who then praises it? Do they fear you might replace them, or do they feel threatened by your skills, lack self-confidence, or perhaps feel that the current dynamics aren’t in their favour?” The rule of thumb is not responding in a manner that reaffirms their concerns for instance, ‘I know I’m right.’
“Communicate clearly such that you do not leave any room for misunderstanding. Be as descriptive as you can,” he explains. Furthermore, Mr Muya shares that it’s important to address their concerns, even if they don’t seem relevant despite it being common for one to be dismissive, especially when one is confident in their knowledge.
Though insecurity often breeds toxicity in an organisation, Ms Ndungwa suggests that HR can shed light on workplace insecurities by identifying common triggers and outlining potential solutions.
Read: Boss’ insecurity may drive away good workers
Emotional intelligence goes a long way. Sometimes someone who has gone through a hard work experience had an intimidating boss who made sure they feel so belittled, the employee will have that hovering over them even as they progress career-wise.
Now, if such an employee becomes a boss, their gut will always be up and will sense the slightest intimidation coming their way. “Open communication avenues to those who are aggrieved, do due diligence, resolve conflicts and take actions where necessary.”