“The pain is indescribable,” begins *Rachel Keya*, her voice thick with grief. “You never imagine outliving your child, and when it happens because of suicide, there’s this additional layer of guilt and confusion. You’re left constantly asking yourself: What did we miss? What could we have done differently?”
Even two years after the tragic loss of her 17-year-old son, Kevin, who took his own life, the sense of inexplicable pain lingers in Rachel’s home like a heavy shadow that refuses to lift.
The weight of the tragedy, compounded by unanswered questions and missed signs, continues to haunt her family.
“Kevin was always quiet, you know?” Rachel reflects, her words drenched in sorrow. “But in hindsight, I see that his silence wasn’t just typical teenage moodiness.
It was a cry for help, one that we failed to hear.” Her memories paint a heartbreaking picture of how the unnoticed signs now stand out starkly in her mind.
Rachel, a mother of three, recalls how in the months leading up to Kevin’s death, she was often tied up with work. During school holidays, Kevin would spend countless hours engrossed in video games, lost in the virtual world of his PlayStation. “I tried talking to him,” she says, “but all I would get were grunts or one-word responses. I shrugged it off, thinking he was just being a typical teenager. How wrong I was.”
Kevin’s mood swings gradually became more erratic. He would snap at his younger sister over the smallest things, and then retreat into the solitude of his room, sometimes for hours.
Even Rachel’s husband had attempted to reach out to him, but Kevin remained withdrawn, locked in a world of his own pain.
“There were days when he seemed fine,” Rachel recalls, her voice heavy with regret.
“He would joke around with us during supper, or he’d play video games with his cousins. Those moments gave us false reassurance, made us believe that whatever was troubling him was just temporary.”
Rachel painfully acknowledges that her son struggled to cope with her separation from his father, which had occurred three years before the tragedy.
The cracks in their marriage, as much as they tried to hide them, were all too visible to Kevin, manifesting in frequent arguments and the distance caused by their professional commitments.
“Pay attention. Your child’s life may depend on it,” Rachel says.
According to Dr Catherine Syengo Mutisya, a consultant psychiatrist with two decades of experience and a passionate advocate for mental health, teen suicide is an alarming and growing concern in Kenya.
Dr Catherine Syengo Mutisya is a consultant psychiatrist with two decades of experience based in Nairobi.
Photo credit: Pool
Citing the World Health Organisation (WHO), Dr Mutisya notes that suicide is now the fourth leading cause of death among young people aged 15 to 29, a sobering statistic that continues to rise.
“Many parents are unaware of the warning signs,” Dr Mutisya explains. “Things like sudden changes in behavior, mood swings, or withdrawal from activities that once brought joy are often overlooked, but these can all be signs of a deeper issue.”
Overwhelming amount of information
She highlights that today’s Generation Z and Alpha Generation teenagers are exposed to an overwhelming amount of information, much of it global, and not just influenced by their immediate environments like their families or schools.
“They are absorbing content from all over the world, and this exposure is drastically reshaping how they view life,” Dr Mutisya adds.
This constant stream of information, while opening new horizons, can also create a distorted view of reality for young people.
“Social media often portrays an idealised version of life, where everything appears perfect,” Dr Mutisya explains. “Rarely do people post their struggles, and this creates a false comparison. Teens might feel like their lives are lacking, worse than others’, or simply not good enough.”
The resulting pressure contributes to a surge in cases of depression and societal behaviour issues, often blindsiding parents who may have little understanding of the immense burden their children are shouldering.
One of the biggest obstacles in addressing teen mental health, particularly in African contexts, is the persistence of harmful misconceptions.
While a constant flow of information can open up new horizons, it can also distort young people’s view of reality.
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“Depression is often dismissed as laziness, and mental illness is still equated with madness in many communities,” Dr Mutisya says. This lack of understanding, she adds, is detrimental to recognizing and addressing mental health issues early.
Dr Mutisya emphasizes that successful intervention must involve the family, especially the parents. “In therapy, especially with adolescents, it’s crucial to include parents in the treatment plan,” she stresses. “We can’t ignore the powerful influence that peers and home environments have on young adults.”
Her team has developed a framework for working with teens, known as the “4 Cs” – Care, communicate, connect, and compassion.
These pillars guide the treatment and support systems in their suicide prevention efforts. “If a parent even suspects that their child might be contemplating suicide, immediate intervention is key. Don’t wait for something tragic to happen,” she advises.
Joy Lango, a seasoned counselling psychologist, echoes this sentiment, noting that teenagers are often skilled at hiding their true emotions.
“On the surface, they might seem fine, but beneath that mask, many are battling serious emotional turmoil,” Ms Lango explains.
“When a teenager who was once vibrant suddenly begins to withdraw from social activities, changes their eating habits, or complains of persistent, unexplained body aches, it’s a sign that something could be seriously wrong.”
Ms Lango emphasizes the importance of parents learning to differentiate between typical teenage mood swings and more serious, life-threatening concerns.
“It’s normal for teenagers to have bad days or even bad weeks, but when you notice that they are struggling to function across multiple areas of their life – at school, with friends, within the family – then it’s time to be concerned.”
No single factor
According to Ms Lango, there’s rarely a single factor that leads a teenager to the point of suicide.
Rather, it is usually a complex web of causes, including past trauma, mental health issues, stress from school, or personal struggles like identity crises.
“Understanding these risk factors is crucial,” she says. “It allows us to recognise when a teenager might be more vulnerable, and when early intervention is most needed.”
The stigma surrounding mental health is another persistent barrier to addressing teen suicide.
Lango passionately advocates for the need to dismantle the myths and misconceptions that prevent open discussions.
Joy Lango, a counselling psychologist at the Madini Youth Foundation in Nairobi.
Photo credit: Pool
“There’s a misconception that talking about suicide might somehow give teens the idea, but research shows that the opposite is true,” she says. “Honest conversations about mental health and suicidal thoughts actually help reduce the risk and encourage teens to seek help.”
As the statistics around teen suicide continue to rise, Ms Lango remains hopeful. “Suicide is preventable,” she says firmly. “With the right support systems in place, parents and caregivers can make a significant difference.”
For many parents, the challenge lies in striking the delicate balance between respecting their teenager’s need for privacy and ensuring their safety.
Ms Lango advises creating an environment built on trust and open communication, where teens feel safe to express their concerns without fear of judgment.
