Toseef Din on wielding the strength of a man

Toseef is structured, colouring within the lines. You have to be when you are a mother, a wife, a business leader, taking a PhD—in other words, her hands are full. Her husband balances her. When she zigs, he zags.

Even if she wouldn’t have been a CEO, she would still be a high achiever. It is what her mother cultivated in her. It was written in the stars. The path was chosen for her, a butterfly in full effect. What is that those who say things said? We usually meet our destiny on the road we take to avoid it.

I am not a medical doctor, but I have an honorary PhD. I am studying for another PhD in Business and Management from Strathmore University. This was a personal passion, always asking myself what next? I am hungry to achieve knowledge.

My mom was a homemaker who did not achieve high levels of education. My father worked in the airline industry and wasn’t home much. So it’s mostly my mom who has driven this ambition. She kept telling us to get educated.

But my husband has pushed me. He has been a pillar, because it is quite difficult for women to study after marriage—there is homemaking, children, work et al.

Mom is a multitasker and a strong woman. She kept going and never made us feel we were less than boys. My father died in 2014 and always said, “Those who dare, they live.” We were allowed to pursue what we wanted—my eldest sister is a banker, my younger sister is in finance, and the lastborn is in administration and operations. We are all financially independent girls. My mom taught us to be go-getters, even though she is mkali (tough), she is kind.

There was no structure when my mom was running the home, she just juggled and I did not want to raise my children like that. I wanted meal times together because food also binds us. We were raised in an age with minimal technology, now our children need that tech, we need to become more mature parents and be more friendly to our children and have deep conversations with them.

Gratitude. When you see what is happening in the world, you can forget the little blessings the Lord has given you. Food, shelter, ability, and mobility. Just be grateful.

Between Monday and Thursday, after dinner, we have religious classes. I pick something and we discuss it. Fridays are general knowledge sessions, like recently we were sharing about the butterfly effect. Saturday and Sunday are all about barbecues, movies, or just chilling. We also celebrate our small wins, even if it is just passing their midterm exams.

Mmhh. [long pause] I was a fierce teenager. I would never listen and just wanted things to be done my way. I was the life of the party, the cheerleader getting everyone organised, haha!

I have mellowed down with age Eddy. You become quieter because leadership also makes you lonelier at the top. I am no longer a loud person.

She was bubblier and fun. Toseef has become very serious, and I want to bring that humour back into my life.

I like walking at Karura Forest or just at the compound and that grounds me. I am totally digitally unplugged. Once a month I meet with my friends from college and university.

I was always a sporty person. Even in school, I was in the karate club. I feel that I have the strength of a man, I don’t think that, “Oh that is too heavy for me to carry”. I started walking actively when I was 22 years old after I had just given birth to my first child. Every week now I do strength training, and this is also about me looking after my health, a preventative care model for me. You are what you eat so I am conscious about my diet, and my eldest son has also picked up a liking for gym. It is a personal ambition to be in an excellent state of physical fitness.

I am a deep thinker on religion, and where humanity is headed. I also think about my PhD papers. Sometimes, I have a business plan for the hospital, and I’ll be drafting it on the walk.

How can I make this world more sustainable?

I like going for a nice hot cup of coffee with a tea scone. If I was to run away, that is what I would do. It’s my reward schema.

Oh yes. Recently over Ramadhan, all the 30 days I cooked something different. My husband was quite impressed. I enjoy cooking and for me, it is so therapeutic. I don’t think there is a better reward than for a mother to cook for her children and husband and they tell you, “Wow this is delicious.” This is what children’s memories are made from—up to now. I remember all the pilau my mother cooked. I am a safe cook, however; I don’t try too many recipes, haha!

Chicken tikka. It’s healthy and it doesn’t have too much going on.

Of course. You don’t have to deprive yourself; it is all about focus and priority. If you find something important in your life, you will make time for it. In my busy schedule, I make time for my exercise because it is important to me. What’s your vision board? What do you want?

I take part in a lot of calligraphic writing which is design writing.

My love for writing. I am a big fan of pens. I collect a lot of them: different colours, shapes, markers, fine print pens, calligraphy pens, and felt pens. There is this attachment to them, even when my children touch them, they should beware of my wrath.

My confidence.

My husband is very strong too. But he is far much calmer than me. We complement each other. He has never felt insecure, neither have I, he is a surgeon. He has his strengths and I have mine, and we have nurtured each other.

I was called to MC a function but in the spirit of full disclosure, when I first met him, he was my doctor, haha! Later on, I met him at one of the events I was emceeing. I actually used to be a radio presenter on an Asian radio station, and he was launching a musical album because he sings and plays music, and I was the MC. We fell for each other, haha!

He is a humble, supportive, good listener, father, and friend. When I am stuck at work, he comes through for me. He is a really nice man.

Sometimes I forget I am a wife. I am the CEO at home, ensuring my house helps are doing things at the right time, and measuring the KPIs. Certain things are wifey, but I think it could be good in a way because you don’t have to define yourself by labels all the time.

I am getting mature and in a different phase of my life so I need to accept that. I am seasoning, I am not a spring chicken anymore. I am very confident with where I am now, that I am an established healthcare leader, and that my voice matters.

This job. I was the head of finance, then acting COO, then COO, then acting CEO, then I became CEO. My job has given me so much respect and trust—not only from the hospital staff but also from the community. This job has defined Toseef.

I believe in the power of peer learning—what are their journeys like? It gives you reward and satisfaction, and it may be lonely but for the right reasons. Leadership is a privilege but it is also a burden. You can’t always be friendly to everyone, there is time for fun and time for work. Getting mentors and coaches has also been transformational in my journey.

That I am a dancer. Not in public though, haha! My daughter has picked up the musical bone too.

That I am a very serious person. But I am full of humour, I like joking and having fun.

Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley. My children composed it for me on Mother’s Day. I was almost in tears, haha!

Everything, Eddy. For life, food, my eyes, everything. There is so much to be grateful for. Being in a position of power where you can help and change people’s lives. This is a job full of blessings because when we nurture our patients back to health they tell us, “God bless you.”

My faith is stronger that every soul will taste death and therefore do good while you are still alive. I am a strong believer in lighting a candle and not cursing the darkness.

My chairman. He is a transformational leader and is a man I would want you to know more about. He is one in a million, Eddy.