illuminati hotties

It’s a perfect day for a swim in Los Angeles, but Sarah Tudzin is struggling to relax. The Illuminati Hotties frontwoman is trying and failing to find her balance on an inflatable tube in the deep end of my pool, clutching her sunglasses with one hand and a Tecate can with the other. “Wait, hang on, I got this,” she says as she splashes around on a 91-degree afternoon in June. The more she thrashes, though, the less the float wants to cooperate, like an aquatic, bucking rodeo bull. She’s tilted so far back that she’s almost upside-down, with the ends of her thick black hair starting to get wet. “Don’t put it in your article that I couldn’t do this. This is off the record!” Balance is something the 29-year-old has never quite been able to master, in the water or in life. She’s a textbook wo...