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Succession: Logan Roy’s Best Jokes, Asides, and Insults

Succession: Logan Roy’s Best Jokes, Asides, and Insults

[Editor’s note: The following contains spoilers for Succession, Season 4 Episode 3, “Connor’s Wedding.”]

The king is dead — the king, that is, of backstabbing, blunt negotiating, and withholding affection from his children. Logan Roy (Brian Cox)’s death in the fourth season was as unexpected for the audience as it was for the characters of the show, who had weathered past health scares from which Logan had always bounced back. But no one lives forever, not even the scions of media empires, and one fateful trip to an airplane bathroom was Logan’s last.

The remaining episodes of Succession will reveal just what kind of chaos is in store, as the remaining Roys face the consequences, personally and professionally, of Logan’s passing. But for now, let us remember the character for perhaps his most profound legacy, as one of television’s most gifted and beloved spewers of profanity and other slams. Below is just a taste of the invectives which Logan Roy has slung on camera at the people closest to him, from business associates to his own children.


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On receiving sourdough starter as a gift: “I just don’t know what the fuck it is!” (Season 1, Episode 1)

On his therapist: “I was about to take advice from a clown who dives headfirst into the shallow end of the pool.” (Season 1, Episode 7)

On programming a news channel for the people: “People come to us because we don’t sell them on anything. No packet of fucking bleeding heart, United Nations, Volvo, gender-bender horseshit.” (Season 1, Episode 4)

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On millennials like Roman: “Just text on your phone, ya bendy fuck.” (Season 1, Episode 8)

More on business negotiations: “He’s selling me things I want at a fair price. So what’s next? Fellatio?” (Season 1, Episode 8)

A little more on business negotiations: “Would you like to hear my favorite passage from Shakespeare? Take the fucking money.” (Season 2, Episode 5)

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On how Kendall should handle his involvement in an unexpected death at Shiv’s wedding: “Go to the desert, dry yourself out. You have not been yourself. This could be the defining moment of your life. It’d eat everything. A rich kid kills a boy, you’d never be anything else. Or, y’know, it could be what it should be: nothing at all. A sad, little detail at a lovely wedding where father and son are reconciled.” (Season 1, Episode 10)

On finding out that a leak has not gone as planned: “It was supposed to be choreographed. That was about as choreographed as a dog getting fucked on roller skates.” (Season 2, Episode 3)

On the role of the helicopter pilot in his life: “Drive your fucking whirly bird.” (Season 2, Episode 5)

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On social graces: “Romulus, when you laugh, please do it at the same volume as everyone else. We didn’t get you from a hyena farm.” (Season 2, Episode 5)

Succession (HBO)

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