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I’m very helpful!
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Right, so Amazon is reportedly in talks to bundle free or reduced-cost mobile service with its Prime subscription. I figure as long as we’re talking about making Prime more useful, I might as well contribute!
Here are my ideas:
- Buy Kindle books on the iPhone. Amazon pays Apple the digital fee on your behalf.
- Veto power. If Amazon decides not to renew a show, a critical mass of Prime subscribers can overrule the decision.
- Secret Santa. Amazon sends Prime subscribers a random overstocked item from its warehouse. It’s usually a tangled clump of cords.
- Layoff participation. Every time Amazon does a layoff, Prime subscribers get to vote on who in the C-suite is also out.
- VIP section at Whole Foods and One Medical. Serves champagne.
- Skydiving trip. Yearly. Can be substituted for a discount on a Blue Origin flight.
- Hologram of a loved one. For an extra fee, you can boss it around just like Alexa.
- Screen-printed art of your order history. Andy Warhol-style. Can be delivered as an NFT on request.
- Privacy Plus. No Amazon employee will snoop on your Ring or Alexa data.
- Birthday card from Jeff Bezos. Or his robot butler.