Ever since long-term paramour Arbitrage Ken traded his plastic-fantastic Dreamvette for a bespoke Roll-Royce Phantom several years back, Bel-Air Barbie has found herself listless and indecisive when scanning her fleet of 1:8-scale conveyances. “Should I take the Trademark licensed Volkswagen New Beetle or Fiat 500? I clearly can’t be seen in one of those license-dodging quasi-brand cars, like the vaguely Jag F-Type ‘Convertible Vehicle’ or the almost-Wrangler ‘Off-Road Vehicle!'” And next to Ken’s car, that hoary pink plastic Corniche just won’t do. So, what about a Cullinan SUV?

Rolls-Royce making Bel Air Barbie’s dreams come true, with a 1:8-scale Rolls-Royce Cullinan SUV built to the same exacting standards as Arbitrage Ken’s Phantom (not to mention the 1:1-scale Cullinan). Built entirely by hand over a period of 450 hours—more than half the time the full-size Cullinan requires—it is constructed of many of the same materials, including fine wood trim, headrest embroidery, and seat piping. The little Cullinan can be commissioned in any of the same 40,000 (!) standard Rolls-Royce paint colors (plus any bespoke hues in between for an extra charge) and the SUV’s 42 standard interiors can also be specified. Naturally, each coat of paint is hand applied and polished to a mirror finish.

The doors, bonnet, hatch and tailgate all open via remote controls so they may be staged at any position desired. Also controlled by this remote is the extensive battery-powered interior and exterior LED lighting, which naturally includes headlights, taillights, and all side marker and number-plate lamps, plus interior dome and cargo area lighting—sadly, Barbie must do without the available Starlight headliner, which dazzles the ceilings of real Rollers with thousands of hand-placed fiber-optic lights that resemble a starry sky.

While every external detail of the Cullinan’s famous six-and-three-quarta-lita V-12 engine is painstakingly reproduced under the scale bonnet, it is not functional, so Bel Air Barbie will have to rely on her Junior-Miss-tress owner to make (hushed) vroom-vroom sounds and push her Cullinan around.

Not that Bel Air Barbie has to ask, but the price starts at $17,100—a stunning bargain delivering 1/8 the real Cullinan at just 5/100ths the price! Now, that buys the “standard” Tungsten livery over Arctic White hides color way. Bel Air Barbie will start her purchase journey at the Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Boutique website, and—presuming she can resist the urge to request color-match-to-sample Pantone 219C (Barbie Pink), we suspect she’ll opt for Rose Quartz over Arctic White (or maybe Turchese turquoise?).

These choices—and so many more she’ll be offered—will invariably increase the price. The commission will ultimately be processed and delivered through her dealer—say, Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Beverly Hills. It will come perched on a plinth with its own Perspex case, which, at 11.2 inches long by 5.9 inches wide and 5.2 inches will allow the Cullinan to be displayed with its various closure panels in any position. You know, in between her many trips to Rodeo Drive and various red-carpet galas.