Love poverty: Cost of dating hits new high on inflation

For some the spark for would-be partners has been dying down as they find it challenging to plan a date while surviving paycheck-to-paycheck. PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK

For young Kenyans who are just starting their careers and would like to settle down, the surging inflation amid a freeze in salary raises is robbing them of decent living and the chance to meet and settle down with a partner.

Over the past year, Mark, a 35-year-old banker, has been consciously trying to leave singlehood but has been set aback by the vast sums he needs to spend on dates and activities required to know someone he’d like to spend the rest of his life with.

Mark is in his third year of employment. He says a decent dinner or lunch date acceptable to most women he is attracted to costs between Sh4,500 and Sh6,000.

Servings for two in chic restaurants in Nairobi start from Sh3,000 upwards. In some hangout joints, the amount could easily hit over Sh10,000, which is a painful pinch for someone with a litany of bills and family members to take care of.

“Food has become more expensive than when I started working. My salary has not increased to match the prices of the things I need to survive. What this means is that I don’t have money to spend on leisure and other important modern-day dating activities,” says Mark.

He has met potential partners who would have removed him from the dating market, but he has been unable to commit to a relationship because of his financial position.

Over time, the spark for would-be partners has been dying down as Mark finds it challenging to plan a date while surviving paycheck-to-paycheck.

More Kenyans, like Mark, are reducing spending on luxury items and activities. They are now forced to chase bargains to deal with the unrelenting inflation eroding their purchasing power.

Food usually has the biggest impact on the overall price movement when computing the cost of living. It accounts for nearly a third of the shopping basket for most families.

Kenya’s inflation last month rose to eight percent from 7.9 percent in April, when it declined to a 10-month low at the onset of rains.

Read: May inflation climbs to 8pc on rising food, energy costs

Game of probabilities

For single people like Mark, the choice is clear; put food on the table or engage in a game of probabilities that might end in heartbreak.

Fun games that most young couples can participate in, such as bowling, ice skating, and archery, don’t come cheap, either. Most places charge between Sh500 and Sh1,500 per person, a significant cost for a single man living on a tight budget.

“Most 8-5 jobs only give you sufficient time over the weekends. What this means is that you have minimal time to know someone. And what does that mean? You have to do many of these activities and dinners before deciding to settle down,” says Mark.

Mark’s struggle in the search for a suitable marriage partner is one that David Obonyo, a 31-year-old freelance web developer, knows only too well. He, however, says while his dating journey has not been easy, he was lucky to meet someone who understands the current pressure.

Fake perception

“Social media has created a fake perception that the good life has to be fancy with expensive things, including travelling and spending on expensive gifts and fine dining. You really need an understanding partner to get off the dating market,” says David.

His top stressors since he left school have been his long-term financial future and declining opportunities which might affect the life he is trying to build.

Amid the economic shocks, David believes that single people should treat dating as a marketplace and search for their matches until they meet the suitable one.

“I tried online dating, but it didn’t work out well for me because you have to spend money for every meeting. Sometimes I lack the money, and when I have some, the bills are just too many, so I choose to prioritise what’s important,” remarks David.

Changing choices

The financial pressures are also pushing young people to change what they are looking for in a partner. Gifting is important, but given the real chance of sleeping hungry, David says the pursuit may not be worthwhile.

Rising inflation has eroded most Kenyan’s purchasing power meaning that most of their spending is directed to essential commodities such as food and housing as they cut money to luxury stuff like perfumes, watches, expensive holidays, and necklaces that couples can get for each other.

Read: Kenyans cut luxury spending as high inflation keeps families awake

Collins Michael, the CEO of Nyaluk Foundation, a non-profit organisation, believes the current economic climate in which the cost of living is unbearable for most, people should have conversations around finances while dating.

“It is a societal construct that men should be providers. But with rising inflation, it’s good to talk about having different sources of income and sharing some responsibilities,” says the 32-year-old.

Collins says the belief that one can only be a man when one provides leaves many young people who want to settle down in a tight spot.

Splitting bills

While splitting bills during dates might be unpopular, it is one way that dating couples can cushion each other as inflation squeezes the extra shilling from many Kenyans’ pockets.

“What happens when you lose your job after settling down?” Collins poses.

He says that finding love in fast-rising inflation is not tough, but single people must have clear priorities for what they want. Collins, however, cautions that people looking to date should not seek partners hoping to gain financially.

“When you neglect other important issues when dating and chase other things, you end up with a failed marriage after a short time. Responsibility should be shown from both parties,” Collins advises.

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