Careers
Body compliments: Where to draw the line at workplace
Wednesday June 28 2023
Appreciating how endowed a woman is or how muscle-toned a gentleman is could be considered sexual harassment. FILE PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK
It started as innocent praise of her outfits. At first, Soniah (official name withheld due to the matter’s sensitivity) didn’t read much into the compliments from her male colleague.
She felt her effort to look prim and proper was appreciated and therefore basked in the attention.
But soon, the remarks turned from her outfits to her body. The sales professional says the colleague would praise her slim body. Then the comments quickly degenerated into lurid, describing what he wanted to do to her body.
She says he once told her he liked her perfect body and that “I could turn you in all positions.”
Compliments have long been considered a social lubricant in workplace dynamics, fostering camaraderie and boosting morale among colleagues.
A well-placed compliment about someone’s appearance or physical attributes can brighten their day.
However, what initially appears to be innocent admiration can veer into sexual harassment, as Ms Soniah found out.
The delicate balance between expressing appreciation and causing discomfort raises pertinent questions about the appropriateness of body compliments in professional environments.
Where should we draw the line?
Lilian Mundu, an HR professional and paralegal, shares that although there is a thin line, there are body parts that are universally agreed as private.
“Therefore, when someone touches on that, especially at work, you are being subjected to sexual harassment,” she says.
The correct reply to an innocent compliment should be ‘Thank you.’
“Your dress looks good. Thank you. But when it moves from the dress to the dressed body, it becomes unwanted,” says Ms Mundu.
The best way to tell whether compliments have sexual undertones, the HR expert advises, is through tone variation, facial expressions, and gestures.
Misunderstood compliment?
Dennis Kyalo, another HR practitioner, explains that the recipient’s perception of the compliment shapes the narrative.
For instance, appreciating how endowed a woman is or how muscle-toned a gentleman is could be considered sexual harassment.
“You could have a clear conscience when giving the compliment, feel like the adulation was noble, but it could have a hard landing on the receiver. Intentions carry less weight on matters of sexual harassment,” Mr Kyalo explains.
With the line between innocent compliments and sexual harassment so easily blurred, it falls on the HR department in any organisation to draft appropriate policies that keep relationships professional.
Sexual harassment policies
The Employment Act has outlined that when an employer has more than 20 employees, there is a need for a sexual harassment policy.
Every company or organisation should define what sexual harassment is and the steps to be taken after an employee has been offended. A thorough investigation process should be followed to a T.
If found guilty, the compliment giver should face some consequences while the receiver is offered counselling services.
“At times, piecing up evidence is difficult because often than not, the compliment giver and receiver are alone, either in the lift or corridor,” Ms Mundu explains.
However, all is not lost. Proper documentation of the period in which the inappropriate compliment was made and how frequently helps victims make their case.
Handling an abusive colleague
Excusing a slip of the tongue or picking it up immediately lies in the hands of the receiver.
“By the way, I did not like how you spoke to me, and I do not take it kindly,” Ms Mundu advises victims of sexual harassment on the best way to respond to their victimisers, saying someone who had a slip of the tongue will be taken aback.
“But if you encourage it from the first day, the compliment giver feels it is a field day,” she notes.
Challenges
Sadly, three-quarters of sexual harassment cases go unreported because of fear of being victimised, plus the lack of policies guiding sexual harassment.
In addition, Mr Dennis shares that building a substantive case is a hurdle.
“Verbal reports are not enough to build a case. Were there any witnesses? Are they willing to testify?”
Though there is an understanding of the element of withdrawal of consent, it is difficult to piece up a case where an employee tolerated some sexual behaviours for long after being offered a deal and then changed their mind.
