Having good taste in music is a blessing and a curse.
Odds are your friends entrench you as the designated DJ of the night without even asking. But curating music for an entire night and being on the hook for a party’s vibes is a major responsibility, and sometimes you just want a night off.
Here are five cunning lies to get you out of the dreaded role of designated DJ.
Fabricate Names of Your “Favorite Artists”
Before the host is able to ask you to provide music for the party, strike up a conversation about what you’ve been listening to lately. When they tell you their favorite artists, act like you’ve never heard of them—even if the names are as big as Dua Lipa or DaBaby.
Then when it’s your turn, fire off the most ridiculous names you can think of. Odds are they won’t want to listen to Yung Gollum Tha Truth or DJ Fartbag. Boom—you’re off the hook.
Say You Have the Free Version of Spotify
Nothing kills the vibe of a party more than an ad for the newest bacon heart attack burger from Carl’s Jr. Just tell the host you don’t have Spotify Premium.
Re-Skin Your Phone’s Wallpaper to a Cracked Screen
While en route to the party, reset your phone’s lock screen wallpaper to an image of a cracked screen.
Then when the host asks if you can curate music, quickly flash your phone and tell them you’ve been having playback issues because it fell off the kitchen counter during the pregame. Damn technology.
Playlist Bait-and-Switch
Everyone is expecting you to bring the house down with one of your signature playlists—but you didn’t ask for that.
Cue up a terrible playlist featuring nothing but Nickelback and Chumbawamba and wait for people to inevitably groan before asking you to disconnect from the Bluetooth. You are the bait, and the awful playlist is the switch.
Nickelback.
Say You’re Waiting on an Important Call
Nothing gets you out of a bad date quicker than an emergency phone call from your landlord about your apartment flooding—aka a fake call from your best friend. The same tactic can be used to get out of DJing.
Connect your phone, play a few tracks to get the party started, then give your friend the pinky-thumb “call me” signal. Take the “call” either in a bedroom or outside on a patio long enough for people to grow so impatient that someone else starts to play music. If anyone asks what the call was about, tell them to mind their own business.
