Angela Kinyua walks in wielding her smile as her delicate scimitar, first to disarm then to dislodge. She has you at hello, and she has you at goodbye. But to carry a certain warmth, one must have felt a certain kind of cold—and Angela, the Montgomery Group East Africa Managing Director, has stared directly into the sun herself.
It is how she developed her stoicism, from the books she reads—Meditations by Marcus Aurelius—from the things that have happened to her, losing her father. “Memento Mori,” she says. “Remember you must die.” Because in the midst of life, we are in death.
So, she lives. In fun, in joy, in love. What is life if not the step-brother of death? Or perhaps a married couple.
She doesn’t divorce herself from her fears, but acknowledges them: like, for instance, how she loves dogs but is allergic to them—animals are her great unrequited love, like what William Finnegan writes of A Surfing Life in Barbarian Days: “…the ocean is at once the object of your deepest desire and adoration, and like an uncaring God, endlessly dangerous, powerful beyond measure.”
On the terrace of her offices nuzzled in the wistful woods of Karen, she defends her obsession with the colour red. Danger or passion? Why can’t it be both, she ponders. Above her, like a tiara that fits perfectly on her head, the sky is a beautiful poem.
Are you a colourful person?
If you count red, then yes, I love colour. But I wear black mostly.
Is this your personality?
When I was younger yes. On campus I painted my room red, I had red bedsheets, duvets, pillowcases, and carpet.
What is it about red that attracts you?
I am a Scorpio and I read that red just attracts Scorpios.
What’s it like being a Scorpio?
It’s demanding, fun, and stretches you but it also teaches you to prioritise. At every single point, you must be conscious of how you are using your time.
What’s one thing you waste your time on?
Books. Especially when I get a good one. I love George R.R. Martin and the classics of Jane Austen. Sometimes I get home tired and I just want to sleep, then I get a good book, and the next thing I know it’s 4 am.
What’s the one book that shifted the way you think or challenged your perspective?
Hmm. It has to be an autobiography by Frank McCourt called Angela’s Ashes. He faced a lot of tragedy in his life, but he put his life back together. Whatever challenges come; they are always surmountable. I am grateful and appreciate life now.
Have you had such a tragic moment?
Not really.
What is one book you like recommending people to read?
Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations. It’s a hard book to read but it’s nice.
How did you pick up reading?
My dad loved reading. I also have older siblings who would read a lot. At first, I used to read, the first page, the middle page, and the last page and tell my dad I had read. Then he would ask me a random question and I couldn’t answer it. So I just learned to love reading as we discussed the book.
What do you miss about your childhood?
The care-free nature. The world is an open book, it was a good time.
How are you remaining carefree in your life now?
I am a planner but I leave room for spontaneity. I usually ask myself, is it that serious? Then it’s downhill from there. Or does it affect my growth?
What was your nickname growing up?
My uncle loved calling me a cat because I was quite playful. Some would say I looked like a doll, but I didn’t know how to pronounce watermelon even though I loved it so much, so I used to call it, “watermeno” haha!
Do you still like watermelon?
Not as much as I used to when I was younger.
Was it the red?
Perhaps, haha!
Montgomery Group East Africa Managing Director Angela Kinyua.
Photo credit: Francis Nderitu | Nation Media Group
What do you remember most about growing up?
We had a neighbour who had to go further her education. She was not married but had a child whom she left with us for a year. She was only older by a year and five days, so she became my ‘twin’—we dressed similarly, played together et al.
Is there a flip-of-the-switch moment that permanently changed your life?
When my father died in 2008. I had just got to campus at the time. Before he succumbed to sickness, we had deep conversations about life. When he was alive there was a sense of security—we rarely locked our doors when he was around. We felt protected. When he died, we were suddenly vulnerable.
Sorry for your loss. What was the last conversation you had?
I was the last one to see him alive. I told him goodbye and that I loved him. He told me to choose my path. Then he died.
How does that change the way you live your life?
It’s making sure that I live my truth. Life is finite but I ensure that I am doing me, not influenced by anyone else. If I were to hold account, then I lived true to myself.
Are you a person who has regrets? Is that a useful emotion for you?
No. Learnings, yes. Regrets no.
What lesson are you learning now?
When to reinvent yourself. There are things I would say when I was 20, and promise to do things by a certain age. Back then, I had not looked beyond age 35. But life has changed. Now it’s about trying to find my next phase of life: what do I want that to look like from health to finance to career?
How do you remain sober and not fall into self-criticism and self-flagellation?
I have come to understand there are phases in life and whatever one you are in, make the most of it. What is the best I can do in this phase? It doesn’t have to be financial; it can be through self-development. It’s all about finding balance.
Speaking of, how do you show yourself love?
Oh, I love myself. I take time for myself and that time is to figure out things: read a book, take a walk, and spend time with myself. Sometimes I take myself out and buy myself a gift.
What’s the most thoughtful gift you’ve received?
Jeez, that’s hard! My mom has this way of pre-empting what I need. She is very aware of my needs.
What is one lesson you have picked from your mom that you have used to govern your life?
A woman can take charge and not be abrasive. My mother is loving and thoughtful in a soft way but when she needs to be firm and state her position, then she is very clear. She is a powerhouse. We are all grown up, but we have this reverence toward her.
What’s your biggest fear right now?
I read quite a bit on stoicism and one of the things they have is memento mori—remember you must die. It’s knowing that I might die today. What else do you need to do in this life? Do what you can with the time that you have been given.
What will people mourn about you when you are gone?
People say I am loving. I hope they miss the love I show them.
How do they show you back love?
Quality time, acts of service, and gifts. It depends on the person and how they interpret it. I think they should understand your love language, and show you love that way, and not vice versa.
We are many things to many people, a friend to friends, daughter to your parents—who are you to you?
Shouldn’t I be my everything? What else can I be?
If you could teach the world one thing, what would it be?
Love. If I love you, then you get all the other actions. I would never do anything to harm you but make you a better person. The Bible was onto something when they talked about love.
Why is love such a useful emotion to you?
Love guides you in many ways. If I saw a beggar on the street, if I did not have love in my heart, I would just move on. But if I have love, I think how can I assist?
What do you love most about yourself?
My ability to pick up myself and continue. Sawa (Okay), that happened. Brush it off. Let’s continue.
How are you defining happiness now?
I wake up every day with a song in my heart. Happiness comes from being grateful—for your life, family, and even the mistakes and challenges you will have.
On a scale of one to five where are you on the happiness index?
What never fails to make you laugh?
Cute animal videos. I love animals but I am allergic to most of them, especially dogs.
What is an embarrassingly earnest goal that you have?
Lord Jesus, can I get there? [long pause] women empowerment. Imagine having a programme for girls, especially from teenagehood that is about making them know their voice in society and develop. At times your goal is just to get married or get someone to take care of—but then you can make an impact in whatever way. It’s not bad [whatever goal you choose], but create a programme where women can understand and own their position in society.
Would you say you have lived true to yourself so far?
I have lived to the beat of my life.
What is the soundtrack of your life now?
I have eclectic music tastes! I could be mushy but when I go on X, I just want to Anguka Nayo and Kudade haha!
Can one have it all?
It depends on your definition. If I wanted 16 children, to run a company, have the fittest body, and be the church elder—that could be hard to achieve. It is crucial to appreciate that there are phases, where one aspect takes precedence, for instance, family time or leadership. Once you have a definition of your all, then you can have it.
What do you need more of in your life?
More money, more love, more fun.
What is something you long believed to be true but with time realised is not?
[long pause] I used to think everyone was innately good. It’s not true for everyone.
Someone did you dirty?
And others too. Some people package themselves as heaven emissaries. But later on, you realise it was just a game.
What have you finally come to terms with?
That in life this is it. You cannot do it all. As you grow older, you realise life is much more complex than it was in Alice in Wonderland; then you realise this is the world we have, your reality and that you cannot live in a utopia.
If you could tell me just one thing, what would you tell me?
Have fun. It is never that serious. Were you to die today, what would you want to do? Do that.
When it comes to death, would you rather know when or how?
Hmm. When. I hope the how will be less painful. “When” so it is a reminder of my mortality.
Is there something you’ve been putting off?
Doing a master’s. There is always not enough time, that is the excuse.
Who do you know that I should know?
Do you know George R.R. Martin? Haha! There is a person who I met who was so gentle in their aura and that wowed me. I wanted to wrap them in a bubble so they do not get violated by this vile world. Sadly I don’t even remember who it was, haha!
