Why do we bite our nails?

BDLife spoke to people who keep biting their nails, medically known as onychophagia.

Eunicharity Nyauchi, 24, says she started biting her nails at a young age. She says it is hereditary; her dad and uncle used to do it.

“I don’t think I will stop any time soon,” she says.

Eunicharity bites her nails frequently until a former boss brought it to her attention.

“I hate this habit,” he would tell. “He used to look at my hands when I asked something that I didn’t know, or anxious and pointed out that automatically I’d put my fingers in my mouth.”

Are you usually aware when you are biting your nails? I ask.

“Yes and no. Yes, when I’m filing them after obviously biting them, and no, which is most of the time as I do it unconsciously.”

She has had infections and soreness but never quit.

“When I was about nine years old, I got a bacterial infection that caused swelling. It was so painful I couldn’t sleep. But nowadays I only experience soreness and bleeding if I bite until I pull out cuticles. But I have a remedy, I never miss a nail cutter in my handbag to cut off the protruding cuticle,” she says.

The nail-biting was not a big deal until recently.

“Now when I raise my hand, I’m like, how will the people sitting at the back think of me if they see my nails?”

There was a time when she stopped biting her nails, thanks to a boyfriend who could not stand the habit. But she resumed.

Applying nail polish has not helped much.

“Sometimes I apply nail polish but I scrap it off the next day, with my teeth. The most the nail polish can last is a week. I have never done gel polish because my nails are too short,” she says.

Psychotherapists have had some theories about nail biting. Sigmund Freud said that an adult who nail-bites is fixated on the oral stage of psychosexual development. That adults who do it have “hang-up” because their needs were not met at childhood.

“It’s just I haven’t set my mind to stop biting my nails,” Eunicharity argues. “I find some sort of fulfilment in doing it. To some extent, I also feel it is unique. Every woman has nail stickons or manicured nails but then there is me.”

Nail biting is pretty unsettling for other people to watch, and nowadays she is aware of how it irks some.

“There is a sound one produces when biting their nails. My sister finds it irritating and removes my hand from my mouth. In such instances, that’s when it hits me that this is a bad habit,” she says.

Maanan Anyango, another nail-biter, also started at childhood. Her mother tells her that she has been at it since she developed her teeth.

“As long as my hands are not engaged, I will bite my nails,” she says, “and when I’m relaxed or having insomnia, stressed, or anxious, I will bite until the fingers bleed.”

Is it ever subconscious? I ask.

“Mostly yes but sometimes I plan to,” the 25-year-old says.

She has tried nail stickons.

“For the two or three weeks when I have them, I won’t bite my nails,” she says.

Then she resumes the habit.

While people point out the bad habit; Maanan says she is more guilty of self-harm than embarrassed.

“To me, it is just another involuntary subconscious thing that happens just like breathing, coughing, or sneezing. It just happens…I have no control over it,” she says.

ForJohnson Brave, it all started when he was eight years old.

“I was a right-handed in school and a left-handed at home. Mum would beat my fingers, so I found solace in nail-biting,” he says.

Johnson now bites his nails when deep in thought, watching movies, bored, or meditating.

He is self-conscious in public, because of teasing.

“I have ever been asked whether I breastfeed enough, that is why I bite my nails. From then on, my guard is on high alert,” he says.

His mother has also raised concerns. ‘Is it because your body has no sufficient nutrients?’ She once asked him.

Like many nail-biters, Johnson feels embarrassed, especially when he in high-level meetings. But he says, “nail biting is just a small bad habit because if you want to stop you can.”

When Magdalene Wangari, 29, was young, she used to suck her fingers. At seven years old, she swapped thumb-sucking for nail biting. This she does every day.

“It is like my nails help me think or something,” she says, “but it’s an addition; I want to stop.”

Understanding nail-biting as a habit is hard because Maanan has even bitten off skin and blood oozed out, but she never quit.

 “I have asked my mom and husband to call me out when they see me biting but I’m not with them always. So, I find myself nail-biting when I’m alone,” she says.

In public and around people, she is teased that she now hides her fingers. “People say..weee…hizo ni kucha zako? Hebu nione tena. Siunakula (Are those your nails? Let me see. You really bite them) and it is really embarrassing especially when it is in front of other people,” she says. “It is humiliating.”

For the longest time, Emmanuel Kiplagat has been biting his nails, and he attributes this habit to stress, anxiety, daydreaming, or when things are not going his way. 

“Though I have never had infections; I’ve pulled the cuticles, causing bleeding and skin irritation,” he says.

Ever tried to stop? I ask.

“Yes. Back at the university, I would wear gloves, but once I removed them, the habit would continue,” says the 24-year-old.

The habit has caused him shame in the office.

“I was once doing a presentation and someone said, ‘you are biting your nails.’ So nowadays when doing presentations or in public, I put my hands where I can’t easily slide them to my mouth,” he says.

Emmanuel recalls of a lady he wanted to court.

“She told me, you bite your nails and I don’t like men who bite their nails. It was embarrassing, and although we became friends, I’m conscious of my nails every time I’m speak to ladies,” he says.

Teresa Watetu, a counsellor says that there are four possible reasons behind nail biting. Anxiety, unconscious behaviour, fixation, or inherited behaviour.

“At a certain age, say 0 to 3 years, a lot of activities of a baby are on their mouth. If this stage is not navigated well, this behaviour could be in their adulthood. Or if your parents, aunts, uncles, cousins basically any family member sucked their thumb or bite nails you might as well do it,” she says.

Is nail-biting a sign of childhood trauma?

“If the child was abandoned emotionally, then in adulthood he will be using nail-biting as a way of distracting himself,” Teresa says.

However, nail biting does not happen overnight. There could be triggers, Teresa says, making one result in nail-biting. This could be anxiety, idleness, fear, or changing environments. 

Nail-biters feel guilty or ashamed, which affects their self-esteem and could even lead to depression, Teresa says. 

“Physically, it can cause wounds, illnesses, and stomach aches.”

To help nail-biters, Teresa recommends finding the triggers.

“If it is anxiety or trauma, how do you process it so that you do not nail-bite?.”

To treat them, she also conducts cognitive behaviour therapy, which addresses,“what are the situations leading to nail biting? How can you handle the situations better? What is going on in your mind when you are biting your nails? Are you finding relief or comfort?”

Then the other thing is emotions. How do you feel? What are the emotions that you are processing at that point?

Ms Watetu adds, “If it is about safety, then what is the underlying issue? Have you been able to come to terms with it?”

Is it a must to seek therapy?

“No. If you are aware and you can tell yourself ‘Stop’ when your hand is headed to your mouth then there is no need,” Teresa says.

Janet Mwangi, the founder and CEO of Jada Kenya, says that a common reason the nail-biters who come to her saloon bite their nails is because they have dry cuticles typically on the side.

“Most times, when you’re thinking, concentrating, you fidget. You find yourself touching your nails or hands without realising. Then, once you feel something on the side, you start wondering, ‘Okay, what’s that?’ and begin nibbling. It’s a very subconscious habit,” she says.

She has seen clients with inflamed and infected proximal nail folds (the skin around the nail) due to hangnails and dry, overgrown cuticles.  The worst she has seen is someone who came in with pus oozing from the finger.

“She couldn’t even do laundry or any household chore because of the discomfort. Some may heal, some may not, depending on the extent of the damage. If the extent of the damage is severe; the nail may not reattach completely. That means you have to live on wearing gloves when touching water or detergents,” she says.

The oldest client she has dealt with is a 40-year-old man who nibbles on his nails and cuticles when he is anxious and stressed.

“He had bitten his nails until the skin melanin around the nails had faded,” she says.

For treatment, Ms Mwangi hardens the nails.

“The softer the nail, they just keep tearing and tearing. They [nail-biters] don’t bite hard nails,” she says.