The Blender in Your Belly
Me: Hi there. Would you be willing to answer a few questions?
Stomach: It’s about time! You would not believe the rumors going around about me. Ulcers are caused by spicy foods! Don’t swim for at least half an hour after eating or you’ll get stomach cramps and drown!
Wait, none of that’s true?
S: Not even close! The swimming thing was a myth that goes at least as far back as the Boy Scouts handbook in 1908. As for ulcers, they’re usually caused by a kind of bacteria. Stay away from contaminated foods and dirty water, and we should be fine. And nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs like aspirin, ibuprofen and naproxen aren’t great for me if you pop them like breath mints. But it’s not like you’re giving me cancer or something.
Is stomach cancer even a thing anymore?
S: Well, it’s a thing. But it’s not the scary thing it was about a century ago. In the 1930s, it was the leading cause of death from cancer. But that was before everyone had refrigerators, when cured meats high in nitrites were a part of everybody’s diet. Now people are eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, which is a good thing for all of us organs, but especially me.
Can you die from overeating, like that exploding guy in the Monty Python movie?
S: OK, first of all, it’s a movie. Explode, no. But rupture? Maybe, but it’s very, very rare. Even in competitive eaters.
So what’s going on with those guys? Joey Chestnut holds the world record for eating 76 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes in 2021. How is that even possible?
S: We stomachs are remarkably elastic. You tell us we can’t do something, we do it anyway. And Joey Chestnut’s stomach — he may not have even hit the stomach ceiling yet.
Which is what?
S: Competitive eaters could theoretically eat up to 84 hot dogs in under 10 minutes before they reach their capacity, according to one study.
Doesn’t all the sodium in hot dogs cause bloating?
S: Not exactly. Bloating is caused by too much gas in your gastrointestinal tract, or a condition like gastroparesis, where I’m too slow to empty. There are lots of reasons.
So, diet doesn’t matter?
S: Oh, diet matters quite a bit. Just make smarter choices. Avoid processed foods like white bread, cookies, cake, candy — a high-fiber diet makes a big difference.
And fiber feeds the gut microbiome, right?
S: Could be. I don’t know. You’d have to ask the intestines.
Wait, isn’t the stomach where the gut microbiome is?
S: No. Be honest: You don’t know what the gut microbiome is.
No clue. But it’s got “gut” in the name, so I just assumed it had something to do with you.
S: Talk to the intestines. Ask them about … [lowers voice, looks side to side] gluten. Word on the street is, they can’t handle it.
