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“I can’t believe I’m on a private plane. It’s like I’m in a band. A very white, very wealthy band. It’s like I’m in U2.” So said cousin Greg in TV’s “Succession.”
Important people do of course take private planes: This publication’s own jet — Despair Force One — is kept next to the bins around the back of POLITICO Towers. And so many world leaders wanted to get to Lithuania this week for the NATO summit that the European Air Transport Command didn’t have enough to go around, so little Luxembourg was given Depeche Mode’s private plane instead.
When Prime Minister Xavier Bettel, Foreign Minister Jean Asselborn and Defense Minister François Bausch arrived Tuesday in Vilnius, reporters were surprised to see a “big red skull on the plane used by peaceful little Luxembourg,” wrote AP journalist Philip Crowther on Twitter.
Turns out, Luxembourg’s top politicians flew in on a jet normally used by the English band. The red skull was accompanied by the letters DM (for the band) and MM (referring to Depeche Mode’s new album, “Momento Mori”). Rumors that the Luxembourgers wanted to add ECA (for European Court of Auditors) on the side of the plane were unconfirmed at the time of going to press.
It’s also unclear who has the bigger reputation for debauchery, early 90s Depeche Mode or Luxembourg’s own Jean-Claude Juncker after pulling an all-nighter at the G7.
Private jets are of course controversial, especially because of the environmental damage they cause.
In May, it was reported that British Foreign Secretary James Cleverly used an Embraer Lineage 1000E for his eight-day tour of the Caribbean and Latin America. It costs more than £10,000 an hour to hire such a plane, which includes a lounge area with big-screen TV and a master suite complete with queen-size bed, private bathroom and shower.
And last year, German opposition leader Friedrich Merz had to defend his decison to fly by pivate plane to the wedding of Finance Minister Christian Lindner, saying: “I use less fuel in this small plane than any official car of a member of the German government. And that’s why I fly.”
And then there’s European Council President Charles Michel and European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen, who traveled on a private jet to last year’s U.N. climate talks in Egypt, in what we can only assume was some sort of elaborate practical joke.
Alas, the EU delegation did not get their hands on Led Zeppelin’s infamous plane the Starship, which reportedly had a king-sized waterbed and a 30-foot bar with built-in electric organ.
CAPTION COMPETITION
“The 2-for-1 special on flaming sambucas at the NATO summit proved a big hit with this couple.”
Can you do better? Email [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque
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Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best from our postbag — there’s no prize except for the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than cash or booze.
“The old ‘glue on the fingers’ trick remains as popular as ever in Ukraine,” by David Brown.
Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s slot news editor.
