Food & Drinks
Bloody fantasy at Big Smoke BBQ
Friday June 30 2023
Grilled pork. FILE PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK
Sometimes I fantasise about blood; ovine blood, sheep blood or goat blood…doesn’t matter to me, blood is red and smells of metal.
And knives. I love knives. Knives so sharp they can slice through the very idea of vegetarianism.
Sometimes, when my mind wanders, as it often does, I fantasise about being a butcher; blood on my apron, a sharp large knife in hand, a big Adam’s Apple stuck in my throat.
Unsmiling to lesser men who don’t understand blood and flesh, I weigh and slice and wrap red bleeding meat and when I go home in the evening, I stand under the hot shower, shampoo the smell of cow off my beard and get into a bed warmed by a woman and dream of hooves and flared cow nostrils.
In spite of these fantasies, I can’t say I particularly care for red meat much. I can go for months without craving meat and when I do, it’s a measly burger patty. Mostly lamb. I like lamb, it tastes of pasture and sunshine.
I was recently taken on a kangaroo date at Big Smoke BBQ in Karen. Simple wooden chairs and tables under a large undecorated space where people sit shoulder to shoulder on long seats and wide booths inside and more seating outside.
The carnivorous menu, presented by an attentive and helpful waiter who suggested meals, was exciting. They had all manner of burgers (fish, lamb, veggie), ribs and platters.
I ordered a brisket and fries. Me Lady ordered some sort of pork, brisket and fries because she doesn’t believe in having a “single experience” in restaurants. “It’s wasteful,” she sniffed.
It was a cold, tense evening because we had had a tiff and it was all thawing slowly. A jiko was brought to warm up her moods. She ordered a mojito. [They have happy hour on classic cocktails; Sh600].
I sulkily sipped my Dawa because I was the designated driver. A Deejay entertained those who were throwing a party under a shed at the end of the compound. The food was memorable and when the food is great, a truce is easy to reach.
